I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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