win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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