I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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