textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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