moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror