turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
