Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.