I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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