do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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