At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
