why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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