No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
