She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
