i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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