you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
