I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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