someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
