what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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