Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
