am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
