you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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