Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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