Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
