Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
