What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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