I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
