there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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