if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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