btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You pole danced in your parka.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
