is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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