just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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