is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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