Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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