I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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