Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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