When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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