last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
