i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
