the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
