You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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