I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
