dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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