I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
