Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
