Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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