I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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