Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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