Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
