I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Randomize
