I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
did you just send me my own nude
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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