we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
