He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
