I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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