Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
