I wannas sexs uuuuu
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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