just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
