i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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