those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
