you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
