Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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