i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize