bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
