She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
