We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
