So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
