So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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