I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize